Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
