I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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