I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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