The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
