well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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