Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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