you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize