I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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