In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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