then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
