sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
