is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
