walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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