i used baking grease as lip gloss
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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