I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
