you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
then he tried to convert me to islam
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
