It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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