How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
