John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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