My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
