If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
