those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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