Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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