i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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