I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
