i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
