thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is Oprah even human
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
