Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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