is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
