we have officially lost it.
"it" just moved
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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