I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
