No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
