He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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