Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize