I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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