none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
True but thats because hes a fetus.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
