i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
