I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
