He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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