Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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