We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize