we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
