Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
