I'm really into asian looking animals
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You smell like stripper and shame
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
