She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
