I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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