i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize