I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
