I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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