Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this beer tastes like vomit already
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
