you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
