Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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