he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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