My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
