I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
