I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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