Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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