with your own penis?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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