It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
