scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found puke in my bra..
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So vagazzling was a success
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
