Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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