Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
