Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
