life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
